It’s taken a long time for me to get to the point where I don’t create chaos in my own life anymore. My life with my husband and my family is an oasis of calm. It definitely is my sanctuary. But we both have had crazy lives and we have both attracted crazy people, and friends. I’m at a point where I have set strong boundaries in most of these situations but our family situations continues to be nuts. Last week alone we had:1. mother-in-law who is a great person but is an addict (painkillers and morphine) returns from being 4 months away (we’ve never been happier by the way)2. sister-in-law who never works, can’t take care of herself, is pretty selfish and nasty gets pregnant by a guy whom she’s only known four months who it turns out (surprise surprise) is an alcoholic who throws knives at her when he’s drunk and chases her around the house3. my sister gets out of the hospital after her latest two month drinking binge – now we all pretend that everything is fine and normal and continue to ignore the fact that she is not only an alcoholic but also addicted to painkillers. She tells me she wants to visit my other sister (who also by chance happens to have a strong pain killer habit herself). Other sister calls to say she is ridding her house of drugs in order for other sister to visit.4. my one sister who actually has a ‘normal’ life is hysterical all week because the dog she has adopted most likely has to be put down or given away due to chronic breed specific health issues. The dog is a wreck. Oddly this is the one issue this week that is really killing me.5. The week ends on Friday with a phone call from my mother-in-law asking if we can be on standby to take her dog (whom we love and adore) to the vet to be put down because she’s so sick..well and old.  By the end of the weekend I’m feeling put together again but we spend quite a bit of time wondering if either my sister has fallen off the wagon or my mother-in-law is using again. And if either of these things happen what do we do.I think the thing that I find the hardest is that I can’t get mad. I can’t get mad at my sister because she refuses to get help for the sexual abuse she suffered as a child,. I can’t get mad at my mother-in-law for the sexual abuse she suffered as a child. Neither of these people wants to get help. I can understand why because the issues I had to work through which weren’t nearly close to what either of these people have gone through, was tough enough. But I keep thinking that life can’t be so good for them as it is so why wouldn’t they do whatever they can to get to that other side and then I feel rage at both of them for not doing it.I talked to my sister after she got out of the hospital last week and I decided my approach would be humour. How much more can she stand listening to us tell her what to do and how much more can I stand doing that to her? So we killed ourselves laughing and then we chatted about the psych ward and what that was like. Then she said she was upset because my brother’s wife wasn’t supportive of her. I tried to explain that maybe this person was feeling protective over her husband who gets dragged through hell every time this happens…that maybe she’s allowed to feel things too.  My sister paused and said but what about you… do you love me? Do you love me no matter what? And I said yes. But I didn’t tell her the part about being angry with her because of her kids and her life. Because I worry that any real kind of truth will put her back to a place we all hate. So we all walk around on eggshells.  I would like to break the egg shells.